Perfection: Porgie + Mr Jones

Porgie + Mr Jones
291 Auburn Rd Hawthorn
Telephone: 03 9882 2955

Opening Hours: Mon-Sun 8am-3pm (breakfast and lunch); Fri-Sat dinner (bookings essential)

Georgie Porgie kissed the girls and made them cry. But I'd happily go all the way with Porgie + Mr Jones.


Once upon a time, I spent my weekends scouring the surrounding neighbourhoods for The Perfect Breakfast. Much like religion, fashion or another kind of f-, however, what entails perfection differs for everyone. I adored the scrambled at Mart 130, but they lacked the sweets. Cumulus Inc was petite for the price, Babka couldn't bump us out quickly enough, and my local the Green Refectory was limited on the space frontier.


Anyway, this quest got old with time, as did I. Then I read this post. And like Goldilocks being roused from a slumberous stupor, I heard the call of the wild. Because you see, boys and girls, just like the quest for the Holy Grail cannot be satisfied by any ordinary mug, I too have very exacting requirements of my perfect breakfast. Perfect scrambled, but with a twist. Perfect scones, with gluttonous quantities of jam. Somewhere perfectly pretty and non-pretentious.


So this is what we had.

McPorgie – English muffin stuffed with ham off the bone, emmental cheese + creamy dreamy scrambles ($4.90)

What can I say? Ronald McDonald had a farm...and his baby girl moved to Hollywood. A glamorous version of a guilty childhood treat - you can't really go wrong with ham, cheese and eggs!

Mr Jones’ golden folded scrambles with fresh herbs + holy goats cheese on wholegrain toast ($12.90 + $3.50 each for double smoked largo bacon and slow roasted tomato)

Truly the epitome of the perfect scrambled. Golden, silky layers of soft egg laced with serendipitous strands of goat's cheese. Attended to by just-juicy roasted tomatoes with a crisp exterior, beautiful bacon strips, and a thick toast even the carb-cautious would devour. I didn't want this to end...

...until this was served. Know this - I love scones. I love them unfailingly, ardently, and obsessively. I wake up craving scones and feel agitated until I can get a fix. I'd name my first-born son Scone if I didn't think I might eat him in scone-deprived madness. And then I would plead permanent insanity because you'd be trippin' if you think my fervency for scones is at all momentary.

Lemonade scones with bon maman jam + Chantilly cream (1) $3.50 (2) $6.00

How do you tell when the perfect scone is home? Knock the door! (Terrible...terrible joke). A hollow sound should emanate from its crisp surface, and on breaking it open; buttery-soft insides - still warm. Perfectly partnered with some of the best jam I've ever had - almost an entire half a jar just for lil' ol' me!

As for factors non-edible? It's deliciously chic, with darling mismatched furniture, and unwashed walls bearing pictures you can literally take home (for a price!). If you so desire, you can dine in armchairs by a fireplace, as you do.


Also - 'We make everything in our kitchens using as much organic, free range happy and local produce as financially and commercially possible.' Parfait!

You can attain identical levels of nirvana at Snow Pony in Balwyn . I know - twins! It's almost pornographic.


How do I like my eggs? At Porgie + Mr Jones!